Glad I Found this site...3d Day Clean

[ggfoxx]

Hello to all..

I'm Gary, a 49 yo WM in Florida..and today's my 3d day..

Hope I don't ramble here, but just wanna share my story with someone who will understand and support!!

Anyway, been a moderate social drinker since I was in the Military, but would've never considered myself an alcoholic.

I got a DUI back in October...devastating in every aspect of my life, and lost my license for 6 months..

Did 45 AA meetings in 45 days, which did nothing for me for 3 reasons:
- I didn't think I was a drunk
- They were court ordered, so I didn't embrace the idea
- In all 3 of the groups that I tried, there was always a circle of "old-timers"
who'd seemed to make it the center of their social lives, and didn't appear
interested at all in either accepting or helping a newbie..

Anyway, in 4 short months since my last meeting, I went from a few beers with friends a couple times a month to a bottle of Absolut nearly every day...driniking in the morning, drinking at work, shunning my friends and family so I could drink alone.

Vowed to quit last Wednesday, and actually did for a couple days, 'cause, after much frustration with DMV, I was finally getting my license back Friday, which I did.

And to reward myself....I drove straigt from DMV to - you guessed it - the Liquor store.

Woke up Saturday morning like I have for the last few months, and just decided enough is enough..and dumped out what little was left of my Vodka, and hopefully I'll find the strength and support that I need to stay strong.

Anyway, just wanted to introduce myself, and look forward to whatever stories, advice, and support you all can give, and hopefully I'll be in a position sometime soon to also be able to help others..

[cejay]

Welcome GG!

Good first post. Your story or some close variant is shared by many here. I suggest you start a journal, and make some plans to handle the cravings, etc.
Lots of people have snappy sayings to add but I haven't found one yet so I'll give you an IOU :) on that.

CJ.

[banana72]

It's so great you found this site. I am on my 4th day and have went through AA in the past. For some reason coming to this site, keeping a journal and posting whenever I need to talk to someone has helped me so much more. So many people here have such great advice and are so supportive. AA was alright I just never felt quit right. Who knows, maybe I just wasn't ready. Anyway, I congradulate you on wanting to take back your life from alcohol. Just remember you're not alone and check out all the great stuff on this site. Take it one day at a time. Love and light

[Jen]

Welcome, ggfoxx! Good for you for dumping out your vodka and choosing a different path. Life is so much better without alcohol!

You might check out NiteRider's journal - he's currently in the military in Florida.

This is a terrific place to find support. Congratulations on 4 days - keep on going! :)

[Hoots]

:D welcome to the board...look forward to hearing more about you.

Stay strong,

Hoots

[mnstar]

Hi Gary--welcome aboard. Congrats on 3 days sober. You are already helping people by being here.

AA meetings take on a personality of their own. Shop around, you might find one you like.

Good luck!

[ggfoxx]

For the replies, support, and advice...

Saturday (day 1) wasn't that bad really; I was so exhausted and dehydrated and angry and disppointed with myself, that I didn't wanna drink.

Saturday night was b**ch, though...night sweats...shakes...no more than 45 minutes of uninterrupted sleep at a time...If I'd had anything to drink in the house, I woulda been all over it..

And it took every bit of willpower I could muster on Sunday to not go to the liquor store, but I didn't.

In the short term, I'm not that worried about stopping. I have an interlock device installed on my car, so at the very least my heavy, daytime, at work, and wake up still drunk behavior is impossible.

But at the same time, I took a vacation day today to catch up on some of the things that I haven't been able to do for lack of transportation the last few months, but woke up still feeling a little sketchy physically, and still very cloudy mentally...and thought to myself that I could go get a bottle, drink all day today, and start over again tomorrow. I didn't, but that scares me....it would've been easier to do that than it was to not.

I know why I feel crappy physically, 'cause for the last 4 months I've eaten maybe once a day...and then usually junk food or fast food or processed food, but I've already gotten my appetite back, and already driven to the grocery store and gotten, like, real groceries.

But how long before the cobwebs clear, and the mental lethargy and the I just really don't care about anything feelings start to fade?

[John]

Welcome Gary,

You're wise already - the short term will be relatively easy compared to longer. A few days of the shakes and feeling like crap and you should be feeling great.

You should be a bit concerned about this:

Anyway, in 4 short months since my last meeting, I went from a few beers with friends a couple times a month to a bottle of Absolut nearly every day...driniking in the morning, drinking at work, shunning my friends and family so I could drink alone.

It sounds eerily similar to what a lot of WQ members describe as "crossing the line" - many of us find it impossible to hop back once over it.

This is a great place for you to start. Good luck.

[Hilikus]

Welcome Gary, you will find all kinds of people on this site. There is a tight knit circle but they are open to new people and very accepting of anybody. Take me for example, I am 27 years old (which is a young person on this site) and I was accepted from day 1.

Your story is very much like a lot of people on this site. Go to the diary section and start your own journal to document your progress. You can also read the journey of many of the other members on this site.

Best of luck, you're on the right track to experiencing a more enjoyable life. Who likes being hungover anyway?! ;)

[Hilikus]

The cravings that you have will slowly fade over time, but if you give in they get worse and it gets harder to re-quit.

I know this first hand. I spoiled my 136 day quit when thinking 1 beer wouldn't hurt, before I knew it I was back to drinking every night.

Better to just stay away.

[Jackalope]

Hey GG, Welcome! How are you doing today? Do you have plans for tonight, and supplies, like ice cream? :)

[jujubee]

Hey GG welcome! How is tonight going? Ice cream is good and lots of n/a drinks...the fact that you are eating good food will help too. You would be amazed how many cravings can be cut in half intensity wise or squashed all together by eating. Another journal to check out is ricard55 ..he is in the military in iraq presently and has a year sober.

http://wqd.netwarriors.org/showthread.php?t=2709

[freemotion]

Gary,
I was in a similar situation to yourself. I got a DUI in August last year. I got disqualified for 16 months (the sentences in the UK seem harsher than the US). Basically I refused to give a breath specimen so thats an instant ban, and was also classed as a high risk offender (for refusal to comply).
As a high risk offender I have to see an appointed doctor for tests before they will re-issue my licence, also I had my ban reduced by 25% to 12 months by attending a drink awareness course. All this has really sucked for me, but looking back if it had not been for all this i would not have started my quit and realised just how bad the drinking had got.
Its so true that often negatives in your life can be turned into positives,
I never would have thought I could have gone 7 days without a drink. Before all this I was regularly downing 100 units or more of alcohol per week (the recommended max is 21). Stopping drinking is about the biggest favour I have done myself in a long time, I feel far better for it already-now I know I dont need it to be happy and contented. All the best.

[ggfoxx]

all, for all the replies/advice/support!!

So far so good. Feeling much better physically (eating better and sleeping way better). Still not crisp and focused mentally, but better each day, and that's exciting to me.

I was talking to a subordinate co-worker on Tuesday, whom I just found out has been in recovery (succesfully) for 4+ years, and whom I also just found out was in on my little secret, just on observation, but was hesitant to say anything.

Anyway, she shared her 3 biggest pitfalls, and, to me anyway, they were profound:

- Alcohol is bad, bad, stuff. It will trick us into rewarding ourselves with it BECAUSE WE'VE ABSTAINED FROM IT for whatever length of time.

- Life isn't gonna be all Rolex's and Mercedes's just because we've chosen to stop drinking...we're still gonna have all of life's problems, they're just gonna be different - better, if you will - and we'll be better equipped to deal with them.

- It's very rare for an addict to recover without a handful of re-lapses. Don't let them discourage...just get up tomorrow with the same resolve we had when we mde the decision to stop, and move forward.

Thanks again, everyone.

Normal, violent afternoon T-storms here in FLA right now, I love 'em. Gonna go eat some ice cream and finish my book.

[banana72]

Way to go GG! Sometimes sobriety opens up new doors and new friends. I have noticed beautiful things and people all around me that I never noticed when I was drinking. Your co-worker gave some good advice. I relapsed several times but don't plan on ever going back now. I just try to remind myself that everyone's journey is different. You sound like you are on the right track. Here's to another day sober!