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View Full Version : I got the kick up the ass I needed


freemotion
06-11-2008, 03:37 AM
Im a newbie on this site, about three days now. But I think part of my recovery or moving on from the "trap" I have been caught in will involve me being open and frank about myself and the stupidity of my life that was for a large part lived through the haze of alcohol. Looking at things through those all to easy to wear "beer goggles". The kick up the arse I mentioned in the title was the loss of my driving licence, I am due to get it back soon but it has made me realise just how bad my problem had got, for so long I kidded myself and justified my own drinking habits, ignoring that downward slope and self destructive course I was headed. Just like the fly on the pitcher plant.
So many times my Wife would go on at me, even to the point of taking the empty beer cans out of the trash and lining them up so I would see them in the morning and "shame" me into changing my ways. She would make sure I watched TV programmes about the devestating effects of alcohol abuse, and so on. None of this seemed to work for me, I would totally agree with her about it and feel ashamed of myself, I have lost count of the so many times I have absolutely vowed to myself "this has got to stop". But it just didnt seem to work, maybe for a day, two at the most but sure enough I headed straight back into my old ways, like the proverbial pig that always heads back to its own mire.
Yes I am totally ashamed of myself for driving my car after drinking alcohol, please do understand that I am also whole heartedly glad that the police stopped me in my tracks and I shook hands with the officer the following day. (I spent a well deserved night in the jail to sober up and reflect on my actions). Somehow something has dawned on me through all these recent experiences, I first discovered about Allen Carrs book on this website, that has had an almost magical effect on me, even though I am not yet half way through the book. In somehow unravelling all the defensive and false reasons I had programmed into my head for me to continue drinking.
Almost as though my own true self, at last, can have a say in all this.
That small little person inside has somehow been empowered in a way that never before has been. I feel this time I can do it, but on my own terms, without being forced to. Even in Carrs book he says he will not ask you to stop or even cut down your drinking until you have finished the book.
I didnt have a drink yesterday, although normally this would have been a perfect night to drink my normally 8 or more cans of beer. Lovely warm night, nice cycle home from work, feeling good about myself. Nobody else at home to bother, I did think about it but without much effort decided not to.
I thought about the analogy of that pitcher plant, that sweet smelling nectar beckoning the fly in to his certain doom. Just like my cans of beer in the cupboard saying "come on, drink me, youll feel great", but I kept that thought of the poor fly in my mind.
Well for me this is just the beginning, please forgive my long ramblings but I needed to get this off my chest. In a way a public confessional, and for me to nail my colours to the mast about how I feel.
Thank you for taking the time to read this
Paul

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rick
06-12-2008, 04:54 AM
Paul ... I am so glad that you found this site and Carr's book. Your post radiates with hope, optlmism, and determination -- all the things that the "real you" has had all along.

I'm pretty new to this site myself, but have found it to be a wonderful source for reinforcing all the reasons for your decision to quit. You'll get a mix of ultimate success stories (and the joys that a sober life can bring), along with the more poignant ones from those who still struggle to quit for good. Relapse and attempts at moderation have been tried by us all -- without success. And while I hate to say it, reading the struggling posts confirm for me agaln and again what will happen if I take that first drink.

It just takes what it takes to get to that final point -- for me it was a point of do or die, I was close to dying from alcohol. If you can reach that point without going to the depths that some of us do, all the better.

Keep up the good work and stay close to this site. You'll be so glad if you do.

All the best to you.

T-Bone
06-12-2008, 05:07 AM
I had a DUI too, and lost my license for 6 months. It totally sucked. Unfortunately, I kept drinking and rationalized it away by thinkingit was okay, since i can't drive I can't get another DUI. I'm glad it did send the right message to you, and with the right attitude, I know you can quit. Welcome to the site.

Gardengirl
06-12-2008, 08:07 AM
Carr helped me too!

It was a strange book, but highly effective. After I read it, I was just done.

I saw that alcohol was not something I wanted to drink, period. I also saw that white-knuckling through it wasn't working for me. It just had to be something I CHOSE not to drink. :)

Norma
06-12-2008, 08:18 AM
Welcome,

I finished reading Carrs book 23rd of June last year and have not had a drink since. For some people Carr is enough for me I found I needed this site to help keep me focussed. You can do it too. You will get all the help and encouragement you need here. Keep coming back day after day.

Steve
06-12-2008, 05:17 PM
Getting the message is important. I had something similar to what you had with the DUI. It is painful enough to wake us up. We realize that this can no longer go on. It makes us solid in our quit. We will not accept the alternative which is loss of family, job, and friends due to alcoholism. This is your stand.

steve

cejay
06-12-2008, 05:58 PM
At first, every time I even started to remotely think about a drink I immediately saw the pitcher plant and the fly. I quit effortlessly they day after my last drunk when the Carr book showed up.

Welcome and Congrats on your quit.

CJ

Vietvet
06-12-2008, 07:18 PM
Welcome to WQD, freemo,

I read the Carr book also, and the "pitcher plant" analogy is one that I keep filed away in the back of my mind. That book really made an impact on my determination to quit, and this site serves to reinforce it. When I first started posting and reading here, I would sit for hours, reading and posting in place of the time I would have "normally" spent drinking. It really worked well for me, and it can for you too.Reading the stories of others helps to create a real sense of community, that you're not alone in your struggle. To me, that was a HUGE deal.

Best of luck on your new journey to sobriety.

roxygrl
06-12-2008, 07:42 PM
Yes you have to do it on your own terms, I also had a DUI, and looked at it like if only I had just drove a different route that night, it is now years later when I decided I want the freedom to drive wherever whenever I want. I was in such a fog as well but I am at day 10 and the fog is lifting, I promise you things will get better in a matter of days. Good luck, Roxygrl

freemotion
06-13-2008, 03:03 AM
Thanks for the replies, I appreciate your encouraging words. We are all unique individuals and I guess we all deal with this in our own unique way.
I often wonder if drink has helped me get to where I am now.
I am so different as a person to what I was around 10-15 years ago. I think I suffered from depression without knowing it, as it grew so subtly, and worsened and got hold of me I just soldiered on with my miserable life.
Spirit is given its first definition in the oxford dictionary as "the vital animating essence of a person or animal". Had I not had the beer, or cider to lift my spirits, at that time, I dont know where I would have ended up.
But now I want to be strong in my own self, my own natural spirit is far stronger and I can now cope with life, far better, and far less without the spirit that comes from a glass.
My DUI was the catalyst for all this, and Allen Carr, and the people on this site are helping me to be strong enough to live life, and more abundantly, without the drink.

rick
06-13-2008, 04:45 AM
Dude ... sounds like you've got what you need. Keep it up and revel in the amazing life changes you're going to experience -- great life changes because you're SOBER!!