Hi, new here.

[NewHope]

Hi everyone,

I just stumbled across this site when doing a search on the Internet, and joined immediately.

I have been trying to quit drinking for years and years, but had limited success. I have managed to cut drink out of various situations, but the evening drink-at-home has continued for too long. I know from experience, that the other situations are like boiling kettles with lids forced on them. There have been some situations where I have reverted to the past. I also know that this is because I keep the addiction going by my nightly drinking.

I have tried all kinds of things and investigated various Web sites to try and help me stop. I used to post to Lifering Secular, but that has slowed down now. I still post regularly to SMART. I tried AA (which is all we have in terms of f2f meetings here where I live) but just did not take off in it. My main problem with it was the pressure to attend meeting after meeting, and I being sociophobic could not handle that well. Then I watched individuals who came in after me succeed in getting sobriety, counting their days, weeks, months, etc. I started feeling like an abject failure and eventually stopped going.

Why can I not give up that last scenario of alcohol drinking (evening/night)? It seems to be sticking to me like a leech.

This forum seems to be an open one and looks like it is very supportive. I hope to hear from you soon. Please help!

Thanks.
NewHope

[ariel]

Hi NewHope,

Welcome to the forum.
A lot of people here have used very many different types of methods for both quitting and for recovery.
There is a lot of information in the different forum sections (Health, Quit Drinking, etc) and there is a lot to learn in reading the journals, and learning from the experiences of others, as well as understanding common challenges.

Make a commitment to quit. If quitting for a very long time does not seem reasonable, many found that just making a thirty day commitment worked for them, even if it was challenging.
Some of the warriors that started with just thirty days at a time now have a couple of years sober.

Start a journal, pick a positive name that might inspire you.
Post a lot and read a lot.
Many folks find that sticking close to the site at the beginning helps very much.

You can kick your nightly habit, and do something that gives you a much greater reward instead.

wishing you all the best
ariel

[HollyJM]

Welcome!

I too was a nightly drinker when I landed here. The 'bullets' presentation on the link below helped me very much in the beginning. Stick around, you can do this. :)

http://www.rational.org/recover.html

[Steve]

Welcom to this wonderful site. I have tried many different ways to quit.
This site has really helped me grow through the last few years. I have combined three different methods to get me off of alcohol. Their are alot of good people here with great advice to help us on our new journey. Start a diary, start reading, and start asking questions. The shout box helps when we are craving alcohol. Break the cycle that keeps you drinking at night first. Welcome again.
steve

[Tina73]

Nights at home are my worst ever. I jump on line here and jump in the chat box or just post in my journal when I want a drink. I don't care if I spend 5-6 hours on this site just reading or typing. At least I'm not drinking. This site has been a God send to me. Start a journal about your quit and your desire to quit. It really helps to look back at it see what your thoughts were and what other peoples thoughts are. It really helps a lot.

[Vietvet]

Hey, New Hope,

Welcome to a great place. This forum has been the answer to my drinking problem. It's worked for me when nothing else would. Like you, I was 'sociophobic" and didn't (and still don't) like airing my "dirty laundry" to people in "3d" situations like AA meetings, etc..This site is full of helpful people, and it really has helped me to express what I'm thinking and feeling-about drinking, and life in general. I don't know WHY this place works for me, but it does, and I had been a regular drinker for over thirty-five years. I think it will work for you, too, if you give it a fair shake.

Hope to be seeing you around the board.

[AnnieBodie]

Hi NewHope and welcome,

I'm a home night drinker too, but thanks to WQD I haven't had a drink in 4 days. Keep at it!

Annie

[crazy]

Hi there,
Glad you found the site. Like others here, it's been the only thing that's worked for me.

For now, can you try to find a substitute at night when cocktail hour rolls around? For whatever reason, ice cream seems to appeal to us very much. I still eat ice cream almost every damn night. Go out and buy your favorite flavor and try it. Or if you don't like ice cream, what other decadent treat do you like?

I hope you stick around and start a diary.
Nice to meet you!

[stevens]

Why can I not give up that last scenario of alcohol drinking (evening/night)? It seems to be sticking to me like a leech.

This forum seems to be an open one and looks like it is very supportive. I hope to hear from you soon. Please help!

Thanks.
NewHope

Many folks here, like you and me, sure had to think of giving it up for a long, long time before we did it. The good news is, for some people getting up the nerve to give it up, for more than a day at a time, is the hardest part. So it does stick like a leech. It appears to me that you are thinking about it more and more. At a certain time, probably right about now, perhaps you'll know it's time.

Read some of the great writing here, and learn how others have gone through just what you're going through right now. It'll help.

[Jackalope]

Hi NewHope, Welcome. My two cents is: instead of worrying about or even thinking about WHY you can't give up the nightly drinking, just try to back off from it for a day. Just don't drink for one night. One night can become two nights. Two nights can become a week. And before you know it -- voila. I think a good initial goal is, as others have suggested, 30 days. Don't think about forever.

I didn't think I could really give up drinking and if I were a betting woman, I'd bet that MOST people who have been successful, short or long term, were ambivalent at best to start. That's why I suggest just tiptoeing away from it, backwards if it takes that, and give yourself time to see what life could be like living outside that trap in a glass.

[jean]

Hi newhope!
I had the same problem with evening drinking. I could not make it from work to home without buying alcohol for the evening. On weekends I could get through 3 days at the most without drinking, but when the week started, I was back to my habit. It was soooo disapointing. I finally got through it with Antabuse (AV can't argue with "you will get an instant hangover if you drink tonight") so that was what I needed. After about two months I could get off of it and get on with my new life. I am loving never feeling sick!

[Babble]

Newhope,

You have all the answers inside you.

Plenty of friends here to support you and find the key to your success.

Dismiss past efforts in the knowledge that you have learned something from them.
This is a campaign, a war if you like, between the part of you that wants to grow and the part that fears growth.
This negative part wishes to maintain the status quo, no matter how painful.

It isn't east to embrace change but you're worth it.

Don't focus on the mountains to climb, only on today.
Try not to obsess about the decision to quit.
Make it, state it every day when you awake and get on with life.

Sorry for the babble , it's who I am:rolleyes:

M:D:D

[Ella Fant]

Welcome NewHope.
Keep reading
Keep posting
Don't get into the whats and whys for now.

[NewHope]

Hi everyone,

Thank you very much for the welcome and all the suggestions. The journalling sounds good. I have tried to keep a journal for myself, but not very regular in writing.

Holly, thanks for the link to RR. I have been there before, but it will be good to get a refresher.

Ariel, thanks for the pointer to the various forums (Health, Quit Drinking, etc). I will visit there soon. Reading other peoples' journals would also help, esp. in giving me courage to start my own here.

Bill, thanks for the support. Yes, if anyone asked me what stopped me from continuing going to AA, it was the insistence on meetings, meetings, meetings, which to me spelt stress, stress, stress. I would not even mind trying the 12 steps, perhaps if I can find an online sponsor who does not insist on meeting attendance, but for now, I'll just post here. I really need to strengthen that sober self against that nagging AV.

Tina, yes, I will try posting here and jumping into the chat box. Going back and reading previous thoughts and problem-solving would help, too.

Steve, I will try your suggestions (start a diary - I will read some first, and ask questions, post, etc.)

Will continue in the next post. This is getting long.

All the best,
NewHope

[NewHope]

Hi again,

Annie, good on you for not drinking several days. I will keep coming to WQD, too.

Crazy, finding a substitute for that "witching hour" (or hours) - yes, that's a good idea. I am not a fan of sweet things, so it is difficult to find a decadent treat of that kind, but maybe hot fried potato chips ("fries")??

Stevens, thank you for the welcome and encouraging words. Yes, making a full 24 hours sober has been my problem. I feel hopeless at times, as I see others making one, two, three or more days. OK, perhaps have a lapse now and then, but at least made a few days. I seem to be stuck on Ground Hog day.

Jackalope, thanks for the welcome and suggestions. As you can see from above, making even one full night sober is my problem. Giving myself time to see what life could be like out of that trap is a good idea. If only I succeed in telling the AV to take a walk.

Jean, thanks for sharing. Antabuse may be the way for me. Nothing else seems to have worked so far.

Babble, you are right, there is that great fear of change, or fear of the unknown. Added to that, is the beast inside that wakes up every evening, gives a mighty roar and proceeds to follow me everywhere, looking for every opportunity to pounce and tell me to go buy, fetch and have a drink. And, of course, like someone else said here, one drink does not make me feel good - it makes me feel bad - I need two or three to start feeling good, and then more to keep it up (or else I feel terrible). It comes to one litre or sometimes a litre and a half. Yes, definitely addicted. Occasionally I manage to keep it "down" to 4-5 glasses, if I start very late. What a stupid rut and dire state to be in! I am really afraid.

Andrew, thanks for the welcome.

Ella, thanks for the welcome and suggestions.

Thanks everyone for reading, I know this has been rather long, and that's because I did not post for a few days. I plan to come here more regularly. Sounds like a great group!

Bye for now,
Newhope.

[wasted]

Hello NewHope
I'm new here too.
I found Allen Carr's book Easy Way to Control Alcohol (http://www.amazon.co.uk/Allen-Carrs-Easy-Control-Alcohol/dp/0572028504) to be the key for me.

[Jackalope]

Hey there, New Hope, How are you doing? Check in when you get a chance, no matter what's going on. We're here for you. xoxo J.