Looking for a pal... wanna start tomorrow...

[kenley]

I've been lurking around these threads for quite some time. I've realised that I work better at this if I have a friend/pal to work with. I am an ex-patriot from the UK, all my family is back there. I feel extremely lonely at times, very disconnected. I am a single male, 52.
I wanna start my recovery tomorrow. I wanna find some pal(s) to work with.
I have a lot of friends here (south-east united states), but most of them are drinking people, and in most cases, heavy drinking people. I work at home, and go up to the pub at the end of my working day, to meet a lot of heavy drinkers. Do any of you share this kind of lifestyle?
I would very much like to find a pal that I can chat my way through a recovery with. If any of you feel that way disposed, please message back.

[ariel]

Hi Kenley,

Why not start today?
I think you've read enough of a lot of people's journeys to get some ideas how it works.

Start a diary and keep track of your journey.
It is for yourself, and the other warriors here will give you some great feedback.
Pick a positive name for your diary/journal, something that inspires you and is meaningful for you.
Post a Lot in the first few days.
Go in the chat box and chat and ramble away.
Post a few times and wait for a response, someone will see you.

No on is going to pull your jaws open and pour alcohol down your throat.
All you have to do is not put it in your own hand and start guzzling.
And you only need to do it one day at a time.
The more time you get sober, the easier it will be.
It will build your confidence, and you can start really living your life, and being yourself, not surviving in a haze anymore.

Keep your hands, your mind occupied here and elsewhere.
A lot of people stick very very close to this site in their first few days.

A Lot of people have had great success by going to AA.
Even those folks who are not particularly religious and are not very comfortable with the idea of a Higher Power.
Take what works for you and leave the rest.

Eat, eat well, drink lots of non-alcoholic beverages, and keep a glass of something healthy to drink in your hand and close by all the time.
Dairy products, ice cream, milk, and juices also help kill cravings.

The first few days are the hardest for most people.

There is a reason you are back and want to quit.
Write about that so those thoughts are clear in front of you.
Write some more to remind yourself of why you want your life back.

There are a lot of very smart, very good people on this forum that can give you help, advice, and support.

I'm looking forward to hearing more about you.

You have everything to gain and nothing to lose.
wishing you the best day
ariel

[Lia~~]

Kensley-- you'll find a LOT of pals here already-- start a diary, as Ariel suggested-- click on diaries (home page)- start a new thread-- name it whatever you want your diary to be named "Kensley Can!" or whatever-- then tell your story, as much or as little as you like. We all support each other here-- and we've all been where you are now, in one way or the other.

Most of the people I hung out with before I quit were heavy drinkers-- quitting separated the "drinking buddies" from the real friends. I don't have as many people in my life anymore, but the ones that are here are real-- not drunks. I was lonely for a long while, still am some days. But never as lonely as the way I felt surrounded by people but lost from myself.

I agree with Ariel-- start today. She gave you a good list of stuff that has worked for a lot of us-- enjoy. Glad you are here. You're NOT alone in this. :)

[allthatkatydid]

Kenley, Hi and welcome to WQD. Just a thought, but where better to find sober non drinking friends with a lot in common with your self than an AA meeting? I have no experience of AA myself. I've never been to a meeting. But I've read a lot about AA both here and in books. It seems the perfect place to start. Even just to go and check out who goes, what they're like, could you strike up a friendship with any of them? As I said its just a thought. But a good idea of yours to search for a quit buddy here. I wish you luck. I've found good friends here from all over the world.

Katy
:)

[dreamer]

I think an AA meeting would be a good start. It took me a year to get up the courage to go to AA and even went under the guise of taking my alcoholic mother, not for me! I liked it immediately. I felt like I was surrounded by people that understood and cared about me. Meetings are all different so if you don't like one, find one you do like. Some are really Christian based, others are meditation based. As I said, it took me a lot of courage and time to go so I understand if it sounds overwhelming. You can find groups online as well.

If you feel you lack support, turn to those of us here. People will help you here. They will listen to you, give you tips and never judge your plight as an alcoholic. Start a diary, as the others have said, and spend some time reading the diaries of others. Find someone who is quitting around this time and make friends with them. It helps to have buddies going through the same stages at the the same time.

We are all here pulling for you! Welcome! And yes, quit today. No need to wait until tomorrow.

[dry guy]

I have a different reply. Do not start a journal. At least not a public one at first. Would be great to do one for yourself. Just keep it private. And it would be great if you actually had old fashioned paper and pen.

Here is how you start. Please think of the answers and write them down for your own personal review.

Why do I want to quit? Is it because someone I love has told me I should, or is it more likely because I have alienated those I love. If you make this quest in the effort to make someone else happy, you will fail. Plain and simple. You must want it for yourself.

But if you want any support, you can always find it here. Sadly, you need to find it inside yourself first. Then you can accept the help of others.

If I can help, ask me.