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View Full Version : New start/question about peoples "Hangovers"


crowed
04-20-2008, 09:23 PM
Greetings,

My name is crowed, I'm 22, and I'm done with drinking.

About a year ago, I had a nervous breakdown related both to drinking and the use of other drugs, and I quit drinking for 2 months, but I picked up drinking again. Since then, I've noticed the days after I drank, I felt bad. I don't mean the type of hangover where you have to drink a bunch of water and rest, I mean I experienced a complete lack of confidence and total social anxiety. Did anyone else get this after they drank?

Anyways, about 3 days ago I woke up in a trauma care unit with a neckbrace on, a breathing tube being removed, stitches above my eye and in my lip, a catheter in my member, diodes all over, tubes in my arms, a broken sinus, broken forehead and a lot of confusion. As I would come to learn, I fell 25 feet from a bridge I was trying to scale. I didn't remember both because I fell and hit my head, making myself pass out and because I was black out drunk.

So, as soon as I regained consciousness, I stated that I would never drink again. And I mean it. In fact, I've been planning on quitting drinking for a while. I could never control my drinking. Though I didn't do it every day, I always did it to the max while I drank. (If 1 is good, 2 is better, and if 2 is better then 3 is even better, and so on and so forth). I started driving while I was drunk, which caused me immense guilt the next day. I've pissed beds, both my own, and of girls who would later not be too interested in me.

But I kept on drinking. I guess being drunk was ok fun. I liked to do it alone and listen to music, although it's not like I skipped out on doing other things to drink. I wasn't friends with people based solely on drinking, although getting drunk (ok, I'm in college, let's be real, the goal was to get wasted. black out wasted.) was one of the main functions that brought me and my different friends together.

And although in the past year I've been better about my drinking, it wasn't like I had control over how much I drank while I was drunk (the idea of moderation), rather, I crafted a semblance of moderation by figuring out how to have a set limit of beer for the night, or gave myself transportation based mdoeration goals. (As in, my friend is taking me home at this time, therefore I can't drink anymore). True moderation, I cannot have.

Anyways, I don't think sobriety is going to be hard to achieve. I'm relatively young, so the rituals of alcohol aren't imprinted on me as if I were 50 and used to taking drinks at certain times and events, making it a habit. Plus, I've wanted to quit for a year now. I love hearing other people give me feedback on when I previously expressed my desire to quit drinking. "But you are much more loose when you drink". This is true, I am loose and confident and funny when I drink, although I've been these things when I'm sober, so I can learn to be turn them on and off without the drink. "Dude, you don't have to quit, just learn some self control". I guess it's hard for non-alcoholic people to understand, but refusing a drink when I've been drinking is hard to do. It's like I do have self control when I'm sober, but that doesn't mean I keep when I've been drinking. I have good balance when I'm sober, don't tell me to "learn balance" while I've been drinking.

But, yeah, I can't deny I have an addictive personality. When I smoked pot, I smoked a lot, daily. I used to drink soda by the case. I would masteurbate 4 or 5 times daily. The addictive/ocd personality isn't the problem, the activity is. I see nothing wrong with becoming a health addict, as in, eating right and working out. Becoming a knowledge addict would be good. Perhaps society could use me as a addict of good deeds. The possibilities are endless.

I plan on declaring my sober intentions to all my friends, although I also plan on moving away. Some might call this the "geographic cure", but I realize you can't just leave your social circles in one area and expect to find new ones where alcohol plays no role. I'm going to have to say no in the future. Luckily, I can. The first drink is a million times easier than any other to refuse.

Yeah, I'm glad to be aboard, and I'd like to chat it up with you guys.

Droppedin
04-20-2008, 10:54 PM
Dear Crowed

Well I have had to step out of the shadows and register to answer you!

Hangovers: Yup, I would sink into what I used to call a "chemical depression" the morning after. Every demon would come out to play, from Social Anxiety to suicidal thoughts. My hangovers became so bad I could not function when one was in residence, which became most days of the week.

I am so sorry to hear about your injuries and I hope you do not have any permanent damage there. I too took many a tumble and although I did not end up in hospital, all of my "serious" injuries were as a result of drinking and doing crazy things. I always thought I had a guardian angel because I somehow woke up the next day and was told about my self-destructive actions the night before, from high-rise balcony climbs (on the outside) to falling down stairs.

I can relate to everything else in your post and I really hope for your sake that you can be true to yourself and stay sober from now on. It will take hard work, but with the wise folks on these boards you will have so much advice and support. You may also need support in 3D, especially since you suffer from those anxiety issues. I found that my anxiety decreased to manageable levels after a few months off the booze, plus I took up meditation. Yes, get that OCD/addictive personality working positively for you and educate yourself on all aspects of alcohol addiction in order to be prepared for the obstacles that may be ahead.

You probably will find new friends who do not consider alcohol as the central focus of their lives. In fact, when the alcohol fog starts to clear, you may see that many of the people you thought were big drinking buddies, did not drink so much afterall, or that you just don't have that much in common with them when sober. Nowadays (17 months sober) I have time for many more people in my life, some of whom don't drink at all. Life is so much better without alcohol in my life. I can only speak for me.

Good luck Crowed! Let me pass you to the experts now......

crowed
04-20-2008, 11:49 PM
Thanks for the reply.

My injuries aren't looking like anything will be serious or permanent, just in need of some time and healing. (And no scab picking, bad habit). I've been wanting to quit for a while, this occurance just puts the period on what has been a run on sentence in my life. It also gives me perspective, about how if I continue, I could be back in hospital, but unable to move my legs. I could also have put someone else in the hospital or worse, and that guilt would have probably driven me to death.

And yeah, I've done the balcony climbing. I grew up with a lot of forest in my backyard, so I've been a climber, I just met my match whilst blacked out. I should actually take up mountain climbing and hiking sober, as it isn't like something I enjoy just because of drinking. In a way, I guess the "blacking out and finding what you did" deal is a form of cheap adventurism, adventuring for wusses. But, that life is for me no more.

I guess that's the greater issue too, is that I just need to get out and live life. Being sober is better than being drunk, but being a sober guy who just sits at home on the internet is not that much better. (Mind you I'm not a total shut in, but I'm definently not using my time to the max).

I'm not to hot about taking any psychological medicine, as I feel that is a crutch I don't really need. I took Risperdal when I had my breakdown, as at that time, I truly needed a crutch, but the side effects annoy me. I'm not going to be Tom Cruise here, dogging any and all use of psychological drugs, but I am dogging their application for me at this point in time.

I would still like to keep in touch and be friends with my friends, and I will probably even attend parties they are throwing or at. Except, I won't be going to get drunk, I'll be doing it to see them. My friends weren't made or based on alcohol, it just happens to be getting them together to drink is a good way to get them together period.

Again, I think the harder battles are ahead. I've been partially ready to quit for a while, now I fully am. It's the other stuff that I need to conquer now that is harder. I need to learn to work harder, even if I don't get a direct pay off. I need to learn to push my self at the gym. I need to become better and more confident with women, as well as with new situations. I need to help others in some way, so that the good life I was born into can spread.

Rich
04-21-2008, 01:42 AM
Start a journal so you can remember why you quit. Putting it in black and white helps a lot

_paulmh_
04-21-2008, 03:42 AM
What a great first post - lots in common with that!

I quit drinking and drugging when I was 22 as well - quit for two years, but went back out. Didn't get sober until I was 39. For me I needed to have quite a profound change of attitude towards drink - I had to come to terms with the fact that, regardless of what other people do, the most important thing for me is to not pick up a drink. After a while that becomes second nature - but I had to go through a phase where I kept telling myself "no matter what, don't drink."

Good luck!

Ella Fant
04-21-2008, 04:37 AM
Welcome Crowed,

Your post touches me. Mainly because of your age. I have a 22 year old son, away at University right now.
You sound smart, and you sound strong. Please stay that way. Please keep coming here and posting. Start your journal. Do whatever it takes.

((((Crowed)))))

Ella Fant
04-21-2008, 04:38 AM
Dear Crowed

Well I have had to step out of the shadows and register to answer you!

Hangovers: Yup, I would sink into what I used to call a "chemical depression" the morning after. Every demon would come out to play, from Social Anxiety to suicidal thoughts. My hangovers became so bad I could not function when one was in residence, which became most days of the week.

I am so sorry to hear about your injuries and I hope you do not have any permanent damage there. I too took many a tumble and although I did not end up in hospital, all of my "serious" injuries were as a result of drinking and doing crazy things. I always thought I had a guardian angel because I somehow woke up the next day and was told about my self-destructive actions the night before, from high-rise balcony climbs (on the outside) to falling down stairs.

I can relate to everything else in your post and I really hope for your sake that you can be true to yourself and stay sober from now on. It will take hard work, but with the wise folks on these boards you will have so much advice and support. You may also need support in 3D, especially since you suffer from those anxiety issues. I found that my anxiety decreased to manageable levels after a few months off the booze, plus I took up meditation. Yes, get that OCD/addictive personality working positively for you and educate yourself on all aspects of alcohol addiction in order to be prepared for the obstacles that may be ahead.

You probably will find new friends who do not consider alcohol as the central focus of their lives. In fact, when the alcohol fog starts to clear, you may see that many of the people you thought were big drinking buddies, did not drink so much afterall, or that you just don't have that much in common with them when sober. Nowadays (17 months sober) I have time for many more people in my life, some of whom don't drink at all. Life is so much better without alcohol in my life. I can only speak for me.

Good luck Crowed! Let me pass you to the experts now......

And welcome to you DroppedIN,

Now that you've de-lurked, time to join in. You have lots to say!

Steve
04-21-2008, 04:27 PM
Start a journal to chart your progress. I am happy your alright. It sounds like your going to heal. We all have that scarey moment that changes our life if we are lucky to survive. My name is Steve and I am glad you are here.
Look forward to reading some of your posts.

steve

pathtohealth
04-21-2008, 04:32 PM
Hang in there Crowed. Your post touches me too. I have a daughter almost your age.
We are here for you!!