It's just me. I'm humbly back

[BadSanta]

Hello. Some of you may remember me from our old site. So, OK I slipped and am bigtime pissed at myself trying to figure out how this ever could have happened. I'm writing this for both the newbies and oldies. I'm a technical person and I intellectually understand how long term use of alcohol affects our bodies and minds. But that knowledge didn't prevent me from getting sucked back into the shitty idea and I want to share this link that pretty much describes what I have learned the hard way. I hope it helps others understand what alcohol has done to our bodies and the way our minds get re-wired. It totally resonates with me why many of us have had so many problems staying quit. If you have slipped after doing so well for a long time, let's talk.

medical-online.com/addict.htm

-BadSanta

[TaiJiMick]

BadSanta................................if at first ya don't.............

You know the read...

in the end ,we make this process as easy or as difficult as it need be....

Rewires are physical things............acceptance,self esteem,persistance...

I think we have to work on the physical,mental and spiritual to ensure a longterm sober peace of mind.....

Shoulder to shoulder....Mick

[Happy]

Welcome back Santa...Happy

[misi]

Now you see the "here" and "there". I am guessing you do not want to go "there" anymore. Remember your heart and stick with that... ;)

:D

(((BadSanta)))

Just in time for Christmas!!!

[Roxanne...]

(((((((((((((BadSanta))))))))))))

Glad you're back.

http://img207.imageshack.us/img207/3606/heartwh6.gif Rox

[moonfish]

(Santa)

Too short, my ass.
That's for the pop up that said my post was too short. Ive said what I felt and that should be enough.

Happy now? :D

[Goat]

Welome back Santa,we missed you...Goat

[DtheM]

Hi Santa:) ...welcome back...ditto:D

dennis

[Kilter]

Hey BadSanta,

Glad to have you back... better here after a slip than there still having one man.

Hoping you are here to stay.

S

[Rich]

Hey BS....My Friend

[suzanne]

Hi Bad Santa

I am happy you are back too, maybe we can be 'back together'. I was on the other site in feb/march and I did quit for....28 days... but.... continued to drink every day since then. Until Saturday night when I logged on again and made a decision. I am on my 4th day now. I hope to learn from you/ with you and maintain my quit this time.

:)

[Spesh]

Hi Bad man,

I remember you, bad news that you slipped, I too slipped after a six month sober spell.

Just look forward, you know what you have to do.

Spesh

[indigoiis]

Hoya Santa,

Booze sucks, huh?

git back up on dat dere pony.

Indy

[SunnyD]

((((Santa)))) Welcome back.:)

[Freya]

Glad to see you back here, Santa. You were missed!

Now you know what the best relapse prevention is....being active on WQD!

So get out your keyboard and reading glasses!

:)

[Tom..]

Brother Santa, I swear to god I was just thinking / wondering about you the other day, glad to see you're alive and kicking. (I know you were having some heart troubles, so I was worried)

I too fell off the wagon after 14 months and drank off and on again for a few months and then quit again (for good) and have been dry for just over 4 months now.

It's never a done deal, is it? The one thing that we both know... that all of us here that have quit for any period of time know, is that our lives are far better off without alcohol in the equasion... so even when we stumble or struggle, it's always worth quitting again and trying to make it stick for good.

Take it easy, man.

Tom

[Jootsie-fruit]

Hey Santa...

Tom is right, sobriety is never a "done deal"..... we can never let our guard down...because that damn addiction will bite us in the ass when we let our guard down...

but I must use this phrase "Dont hate the player, hate the game"....

glad to see you back...sorry its under the circumstances....is it too early for me to ask for a Barbie for Christmas??

Joots.

[bluestocking]

Taking up Ronnie's suggestion, here's my story:

I quit for almost four years, starting on 11 Nov, 2004. Around June 08, I made the mistake of thinking it was probably 'safe' to 'have the odd one'. Predictably, the 'odd one' turned into heavy, almost daily drinking with frequent binges.

Why did I start again? Overconfidence, mainly. I was actually pretty happy at the time (for me - I have anxiety and depression issues). I'd originally quit when I went on Prozac for PND - I'd been 'self-medicating', as they say, with booze, while pretending that motherhood was a blissful rose garden and I didn't want to Agent Orange the entire place and then jump under a train.

Although I was falling into jagged little pieces, I wasn't convinced I really had a problem, and going on Prozac was a big and scary step for me. Since booze is contraindicated with that particular SSRI, I decided to quit drinking for a while. For nearly four years, I didn't miss it - well, maybe occasionally. Four years, another kid and another crippling bout of PND later, I decided I was now Better. And that I hadn't really had an alcohol problem before. It was just a symptom of the PND, honest. And now that I wasn't depressed any more, why shouldn't I have the odd drink, just to be sociable...?

What did I learn, between relapsing and quitting again? That I can't moderate. That even if I'm in a good place, especially if I'm in a good place, I shouldn't drink, because picking up that bottle's like sliding down a shortcut chute to the Bad Place. That the second quit isn't nearly as easy as the first. Nor were the third, fourth and fifth - and I've actually lost count of how many there have been since I started trying in August 09, when I rejoined this site. It's taken a few attempts to make it last as long as it had, and it's still early days for me.

Welcome back, Santa. I wish you all the best with your quit. Coming here is keeping me on the right track. Long may it continue!