Why do people do things that are bad for them without changing?

[Tiger]

This is a broad question related to drinking, which seems very simple, but if it were simple it wouldn't be an issue. For example, a lot of people are very overweight and they don't change. People smoke for decades and even get emphysema and don't change. People use hard core drugs for years and don't change. Same with drinking. We all know that doing _____ causes a list of likely very bad circumstances. Why are many people unwilling to change?

[Nidus]

I know I'm not answering the deeper side of your question, but from a surface level I think your looking at these issues from a different angle, the angle most people instinctively weigh these options up when making a decision is immediate risk vs immediate reward these aren't thought out, and carefully weighed decisions - they are impulses

No one really thinks about these things long term. It's all about instant gratification, eating, drinking, drugs and I would argue computer games all provide high levels of reward within moments, with very little foreseeable immediate risk with the exception of high doses of hard drugs.

If I think about the times I've been a few days sober and trying to give up drinking it's an impulse that usually breaks it - Once people enjoy the short term buzz from these things enough it becomes easy to down play the very real long term risks or even ignore them entirely.

That's my 2cents

[Talento1]

I just think that it's easy to hang on to your vices versus the alternative..which is trying to make a major lifestyle change..be it alcohol...drugs...smoking...gambling...etc..
it's hard to do and you know you should do it...but it takes a s**t load of consistency and perserverance...and prayer if you are inclined...

good topic...very interesting...:)

cheers
Cathy

[Tiger]

I agree there is some level of impulse and thinking short term over the long term. On the deeper side I wonder if some people really don't care if they die. People will always try to avoid a car accident, but then they will continue behavior that had a good chance of killing them. For example, my mom smoked for over 40 years and had emphysema, constantly coughing and it contributed to heart problems and she ended up needing a stint put in her leg to open an artery so she could walk. It was better to her to continue to smoke than to not have this list of health conditions. I really think she just didn't care all that much. I have met/known nurses who are obese and some that chain smoke. They have a list of health problem. You would think that a nurse would be the least likely person to poison themselves with too much food or cigarettes. I asked the smoking nurse why she doesn't quit and she said it's too hard. So I guess my point is that some people choose something they don't need to be doing and some really serious consequences. I think there is some sort of bubble people live in, including myself to some degree, where we can't see how rediculous our choices are. Either that or we just don't enjoy life enough to care or don't feel that they have much hope for things they want. Then there are people who are not like this at all, but how many people do you know that are thin, excercise, eat healthy, don't smoke, don't drink and don't do drugs? Maybe 20% of the population?

[dsc2]

Maybe 20% of the population?

I would say even less. Maybe 5% or so.

About why people don't give up bad habits, I think another part of it is some simply feel that they've gotten to such a point tht it's impossible to reverse where they're at, so why bother?

[Woodchip]

Then there are people who are not like this at all, but how many people do you know that are thin, excercise, eat healthy, don't smoke, don't drink and don't do drugs? Maybe 20% of the population?

This is very true, Tiger. I'd say even less than 20%. It seems that EVERYONE has some sort of vice.

Now, tell me the psychology behind this one....very often I'd continue to drink or smoke because I like that it was "bad." Of course, I knew that the cigarettes would kill me and that the alcohol was ruining my health, but I like the fact that I was doing something devious.

What's that about???

[Tiger]

I would say even less. Maybe 5% or so.

About why people don't give up bad habits, I think another part of it is some simply feel that they've gotten to such a point tht it's impossible to reverse where they're at, so why bother?


I'm the opposite. Before I gained 20 lbs, I only gained 5 lbs. I thought, what's the point of losing 5 lbs? So then I gained 15 lbs and felt like a slob and then got motivated to lose 15 lbs. Now I still need to lose about 5 and I'm still going, but now my goal is bigger. In addition to losing a few more pounds, I want to be fit by jogging and lifting light weights. I know I'll look like the people I envied when I weighed 20 lbs more than what I should and that will feel great. Then maybe I'll focus on eating more fruit and vegetables. Hopefully by then I cut out the beer completely. But the beer was the same. I wasn't motivated to work on that till I had 10 beers at a time up to 3 days a week. Now I'm down to 5 or 6 at a time 3 days a month. The little bit left to do is the hardest. So I'm still part of the 80 or 95% of the population with bad habits. I'm still going to strive to be one of those oddball 5%. Back to the original topic. I think you have to see a reason to change in order to change. If you really know you will be better off and have hope, then you may resist some temptaions for instant gratification.

[Tiger]

This is very true, Tiger. I'd say even less than 20%. It seems that EVERYONE has some sort of vice.

Now, tell me the psychology behind this one....very often I'd continue to drink or smoke because I like that it was "bad." Of course, I knew that the cigarettes would kill me and that the alcohol was ruining my health, but I like the fact that I was doing something devious.

What's that about???

That reminds me of my friend in high shcool who ended up being a teen mom. She also ended up in the newspaper because she was caught drinking wine coolers in a parking lot. Some of her friends parents saw that and they weren't allowed to hang out with her anymore. I think she ended up ok after she got over her teen rebel thing. She got married and had more kids.

I quess it is still the same thing and drinking for a high or binge eating to feel good. Your benefit was being a rebel. So you chose being a rebel over health.

[Hiker]

Change of any sort is scary, be it positive or otherwise. We get comfortable and complacent. We think, "I can always quit, stop, change, etc. if I need to" We think we have all the time in the world. So we keep to the same path. Early on, the ruts are shallow, and steering out of them and charting a new course would be pretty easy, but we have no reason to, so why bother? Before we know it, the ruts are deep. Plus, the cliff that we are headed for (the one that we didn't see at the start because it was so far away) is getting close. We now know we need to change course, so we try to steer out of the ruts. Only now it isn't so easy. In fact, it takes monumental effort just to get the steering wheel to budge. We feel like if we applied enough effort, we could steer up and out of the ruts, but it is exhausting. Our complacency has sapped us of much of our physical and mental energy, and of the will to apply it. So we decide that it is just easier to stay in the ruts and pretend that the cliff really isn't there.

Change is hard. But then again, nothing worth doing was ever supposed to be easy.

[Tiger]

I think there is a consensus on why people don't change or why it is so hard to change.

What about why people get into these habits to begin with? What I came up with is anxiety, wanting to feel more comfortable socially, wanting friends, dispair and hopelessness, boredom and thrill seeking. Do you think most people who stop have ended up addressing their original issues?

[rosie]

It seems that EVERYONE has some sort of vice.

Now I have none left.....:rolleyes:

From my point of view, I think that for a long time we generally think it won't happen to us, or it's so far down the line, we've got plenty of time to get control of it. Then of course you end up like my stepdad who has been told he is within a whisker of developing cirrhosis. Has it made him stop...no of course not. I think for him, he can see no other way and buries his head in the sand all the while using alcohol to forget. It is a truly sad thing to witness. But anyone who has misused alcohol knows how easy it is to lie yourself and ignore things. It takes strength, will, determination and a solid reason to turn your life around and not everyone has all those things.

So far as the original reasons are concerned.. for me there were some clear reasons - most of which you have listed - and yes I have had to address them, still am doing. It is about facing the world without the escape of alcohol to numb things. That was a hard thing to do and still is. But it is much better and I didn't believe that at the start. Life is clearer and more meaningful because I am sober. Each time I face my fears makes me a stronger person and more able to cope and gives me that true confidence that alcohol falsely gave me.

[Culli]

sorry 0 whining...edited it out.

[Tiger]

Now I have none left.....:rolleyes:


It is about facing the world without the escape of alcohol to numb things. That was a hard thing to do and still is. But it is much better and I didn't believe that at the start. Life is clearer and more meaningful because I am sober. Each time I face my fears makes me a stronger person and more able to cope and gives me that true confidence that alcohol falsely gave me.

That's what I was thinking. You have your original reasons for drinking. Then you continue to drink because alcohol has clouded your judgement. Once you find the courage to remove the alcohol for an extended period you still have your original reason to drink, but without the alcohol you are able to grow and you can feel even better than before you drank.