Basics of how to quit

[Lia~~]

From: Quit Drinking Alcohol (http://substance-abuse-recovery.suite101.com/article.cfm/you_can_quit_drinking_alcohol)
(edited by me)


Basic Steps to Recovery

1. Admit you have a problem. You do not have to admit to being powerless over alcohol. You do have to admit that you have a problem and that you want to change. What constitutes a problem is determined by the level of detriment that the consumption of alcohol wrecks havoc on your health, your successful functioning in life--in your job, in your relationships, etc.
2. Determine your allies as soon as you make the decision to quit. Who is in your life that will support you in your decision? Surround yourself with the people in your life that will assist you in your decision to quit, not people that will sabotage your sobriety.
3. Make a commitment. Don't be afraid to imagine yourself sober for the rest of your life. It is true that you take one day at a time. It is true that some days you take one moment at a time. You also need to have emotional acceptance that it is a good thing that you will not ever be drinking again.
4. Avoid the labels. It is not necessary to announce to everyone that you are an alcoholic, or a recovering alcoholic. Share your victories with your allies, as they are the encouraging ones. Know that you do not have a disease, and you are not sick--quitting drinking will make you a much healthier person.
Coping Skills

Use these tools to help stay sober.
1. When offered a drink, it's o.k. to simply say, "no thank you." When pressed for explanation, you can either say that you don't drink, or that you don't feel like drinking just then.
2. Avoid situations that will lead to being pressured for a drink. Going out to a bar with your drinking buddies may not be the best environment to maintain your resolve to quit drinking.
3. Spend time with your allies. Surround yourself with supportive people who care about you, your health, and your decision to quit drinking.
4. Be gentle with yourself. Find an emotional peace about your decision to quit drinking. Don't let doubt crowd in your thoughts about your strength or your ability to stay sober. You are in control of the decision and nobody else. Tim Kizer, who has been sober for over 7 years quips, "quitting drinking is the easy part, it's the staying quit that is the key."
5. Take it one day at a time. Take it one moment at a time if you have to. The decision to drink or not drink is made in a moment. When you reach that crossroads, make the decision to stay healthy and sober.

Increase your chances of success by using your supportive allies, resources, and most importantly trust in yourself to keep to your decision to stay sober.
Additional Resources




FREE course about AVRT (Addictive Voice Recognition Technique) on Rational Recovery (http://www.rational.org/html_public_area/course_avrt.html).

If you have decided to follow through on you decision to quit drinking, CONGRATULATIONS. You can do it!

[ClearBlue]

Great post and all very true. I've found that when offered a drink at a bar from a friend, the simple, "I am driving tonight and I've already had a few." works just fine. Even if you haven't had anything to drink most people respect that as it's really the safe thing to do.

I've also figured out and tested out a few ways to mimic drinking, if you will without actually drinking at all. Not that it matters, but when people think you're drinking along with everyone else, it seems to make them look past you if you weren't drinking.

[Devushka]

Thanks, Lia. I can use a refresher from time to time. Good post!

And I think that just admitting you have a problem is key. It doesn't matter so much why, but that it exists. I found that trying to analyze why I drank so much just took me away from my goal of not drinking...

[chipper]

[B]From:[URL="http://substance-abuse-recovery.suite101.com/article.cfm/you_can_quit_drinking_alcohol"] 3. Make a commitment. Don't be afraid to imagine yourself sober for the rest of your life.

This is the one I'm having a little trouble with. I've been a drinker for so long that I see myself with a drink in my hand when I imagine myself. I can see myself staying sober until the anxiety of my last blackout dissipates. However, after that I see the same old jolly drunk.

The ol' addictive voice keeps telling me, "How will you fit in with co-workers? What about new friends? They're not going to hang around with a guy who doesn't have a few on the weekend? You'll turn yourself into one of those boring people at parties." I realize these souhd riduculous but these are some of the conflicts I've struggled with in my battle over the years.

I'm assuming that the creation of the future sober me takes the repetition of imagination.

Any words of wisdom?

[Devushka]

Hi Chipper,

I've struggled with that one a lot, and here's what's helped me. (Ala the advice of many, many before me and gleaned on my own through many difficult experiences.)

First, don't worry about the future. You'll get there. All you have to do is not have a drink today. If that's too much, just don't drink right now.

Second, any thought that tells you that you can't drink because of what might happen in the future is what's called your addictive voice (AV). Check out rational.org for a description. Actually, any thought that tells you that you need to drink is your AV.

Third, you'll be ok. After I quit drinking socially, I was amazed at not only how little other people drank, but how I got along all right. Alcohol doesn't make you interesting. You make yourself interesting.

Hope some of this helps.
Devushka

[jm8]

"The ol' addictive voice keeps telling me, "How will you fit in with co-workers? What about new friends? They're not going to hang around with a guy who doesn't have a few on the weekend?"

f**k them.


"You'll turn yourself into one of those boring people at parties."

I've seen just as much heartache, unnecessary drama, and very un-fun and un-funny moments at social gatherings at the hands of drinking and drunks as I have seen "fun." Puking. Annoying sloppy drunks who embarass themselves and others with their slurred jibberish, often repeating themselves over and over. People getting asked or forced to leave because of their drunken behavior. Arrests. Arguments. Physical fights. Wondering the next day about what you said or did. Needing a lift home or having to be talked into talking a cab. Or Worse, DUI. The list goes on and on...

Especially in the earlier stages of my drinking, I too had lots of great times with drinking. I was often the life of the party and most people enjoyed my shenanigans and off the wall brand of humor.

As my habit progressed, my former "fans," no longer found me funny and although it was never articulated, I'm sure they would have preferred me sober.

During one of my last binges, I was asked to leave a semi-private nightclub by a good buddy of mine who is a member and brought us all to the club with him that night. He normally thinks I am hysterical, drunk or sober. That particular night, no one thought I was funny except for myself. Apparantly, I had insulted the clubs music numerous times, once while standing right next to the DJ who happens to be a friend of a friend who was with us. I don't even remember doing that.

Most of the rest of the night, I continued to badger the rest of the group about having the top few buttons open on their shirts (still kind of guido and 80's disco to me, but whatever,) and not having any chest hair. I would go into these repetitive mantras about it while blacked out and then come to standing there with everyone staring at me with looks of great concern and confusion.

maybe a bit extreme, but that's a good enough example for me to know that i am better of "socially," in the long run w/o booze.

[jm8]

I guess the abbreviated version of what I was trying to say was that being a drunk is certain to lower you to "social pariah," status much sooner than being a teetotaler, so why worry about NOT drinking? you would stand to lose nothing, except perhaps the company of fellow drunks who want to stay that way and want you to be there for the downward spiral with them.

and I hope that one little Mormon girl has recovered from the vision of me jumping rope drunk with my gym shorts sliding down to my ankles with every repetition at that 4th of july party. there's another good example of my status as a drunk social climber...jumping rope poolside with my shorts around my ankles. Why Dale Carnegie never wrote about that one in his book "how to win friends and influence people," I'll never know.

[chipper]

Devushka and jm8 thanks much. Sleep well tonight knowing that you brought me some relief with your words.

There's a member in my family named "Alcohol" that seemed to always show up at every event. I always thought it was normal to get hammered beyond belief on the weekends. My dad and all my uncles did it. My dad even built a special compartment in the family boat to keep a few emergency beers for the ride back from the fishing hole. Dad was so much happier with a few drinks in him and we all breathed a sigh of relief on Fridays. It gets engrained in you when it's always been there. When you get up in years, and you meet so many other types of people, you begin to see the disfunction of the past family life. The booze/social association is engrained in me and I want to put an end to this cycle in my family.

Thanks for the advice, especially the "f**k them" from jm8. So simple yet so effective!