Turning Red in September! [Archive]

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4abetterlife

08-25-2008, 04:41 PM

Hi there Warriors. On September 5th I will turn red! I am very excited. I know a lot of fellow warriors will be turning red next month too. Please post in this thread and share your plans and feelings about our first anniversary! I welcome all well wishers to cheer us on in here and advice from the long time quitters on how to keep up with the good and sober life!

Who turns red in Sept???

Big Sis
Jackalope
Trailwalker....

I have a few more guesses but I will need to check!

Dry_EE

08-26-2008, 03:17 AM

I wish everyone well on this, it's a big accomplishment. My advice would to beware of the AV around this anniversary. Mine crept up a bit towards the end of that first year. If you're aware of it and maybe expecting it, you'll be prepared to deal with it. I'll never think of myself as 'cured' or fall into the "I can have just one' traps, I prefer to think of myself as having successfully dealt with a problem that I no longer have to worry about as long as I'm smart. It's a relief.

BigMac

08-26-2008, 04:54 AM

Good job 4aBetter Life! That's a great accomplishment.

Mac

AnnieBodie

08-26-2008, 06:05 AM

Congratulations 4abetterlife!!!.

I'm glad you started this thread because I was talking to Sis and Jackalope about this subject last night. I was asking them about the different phases they went through and at what point did they think that their life was turning for the better.

Maybe Sis and JLo could post those posts in here, and I'd be very interested in hearing others' experiences too. It would be a kind of a "what to expect thread". It would be helpful for us newbies to know what to look forward to and what to be aware and be ware of.

Annie

4abetterlife

08-26-2008, 06:11 AM

I am sure JuJu is part of this red in sept group. Forgot to write her name earlier. Thanks for chiming in. I am not cured...I am an alcoholic. It is a lifelong condition, but I can manage this disease...it is all up to me.

Thanks WARRIORS

bigsister987

08-26-2008, 06:20 AM

This is a great thread Lisa. Many thanks

Maybe Sis and JLo could post those posts in here, and I'd be very interested in hearing others' experiences too. It would be a kind of a "what to expect thread". It would be helpful for us newbies to know what to look forward to and what to be aware and be ware of.

Annie

What you mean the whole world doesn't read my journal :D. Here is one of my posts:

In the first month it was more about just feeling physically better. At about 3 months I noticed that I was remembering things better which kinda shocked me. I think at that point I realised how much your brain can be damaged by alcohol. It is little things you notice, and sometimes don't notice right away. I have lost some weight but very slowly despite going to the gym regularly and no I didn't bulk up on sweets and ice cream.

I also noticed at around this time that I was calmer and didn't get so angry. In other words, I was becoming a nicer person to be with.

At 9 months being sober seemed so normal, and I have felt a sense of freedom that I had lost during the drinking years. I think this was a key thing for me.

The next stage is to make good plans for the future, now that I am not dragged down by alcohol any more. And I do truly believe that if I were to have a really big celebration, e.g. get married or something, I would enjoy it more drinking sparkling grape juice than champagne. Alcohol is a con.

bigsister987

08-26-2008, 06:25 AM

And I posted this is JLo's journal:

Yeah, I don't drink either!!:D

Yes, there are several of us coming up for one year. I feel that things are just starting to turn around for me. I have a lot of stuff to sort out. I need to lose more weight, I need to get some work issues sorted with my newfound confidence and better functioning mind, and I have a couple of personal things I want to work on. I can't go back to drinking or I will never achieve these things. I just feel I have so much more opportunity now.

I think when 1 year is such a big event it is easy to focus on that, and then have a sort of come down afterwards. Sort of 'is this it?' feeling. Maybe some feel that everything should be perfect now, and of course life isn't really perfect even for those who don't drink. My plan is to focus on what I want to achieve, recall how dull my life was before I quit, and keep reading and posting here. What about you?

Jackalope

08-26-2008, 07:18 AM

I'll chime in! I recently asked BigSis this: You are just about to turn red, aren't you? I am as well along with a few fellow quit buddies like Lisa (4abetterlife) and Trailwalker. I want to ask you: do you think you'll slip after you make a year? I have heard that is a somewhat common pattern but I don't plan to follow that pattern, do you? I am not sure that I would quit again if I started and that's just too scary and unattractive for me.

and then answered the question myself, like this:

As for me, I'm not planning to drink and I think it's good to reflect on the reasons why not as a sort of preventative, but I haven't started that process yet. But I guess I will now... :rolleyes:

1) I don't want to start drinking as I think I would not quit again right away. This is my number one reason. I think if I started drinking that I would think: well, I blew it so why not enjoy the high for a while? And since the last time I quit drinking was five or six years ago, I'm not really sure how long it would take me to get back to Day One.

2) I hate Day One and want to avoid that my-head-is-about-to-blow-off feeling and that bad-dog-I'm-so-ashamed feeling and all the rest of those too many hyphen feelings. Yikes.

3) My life was dull, too, when I was drinking. I like to think it was fun and carefree and sort of attractively louche but, really, my world was getting very small. Once I started drinking, my focus was on the next drink and not on what was around me. And since I liked to drink at home, I was mostly at home, just me and my scotch. That's pretty pathetic.

4) I am too old to keep drinking. An old sot is much less attractive or acceptable than a young party girl. Who was that fellow Brit, the lawyer, who is now pregnant and not active anymore? She talked about going out and partying and being worried about being "mutton dressed as lamb." That image has stuck in my brain and probably a good thing it has.

5) Life is just too interesting and too much fun to have it be dulled out.

6) I love having a clear conscious and a clear memory. Actually, my memory is not all that clear but now I don't feel guilty and paranoid when I can't remember; I just can't remember.

Time to stop this list! So many reasons not to drink, so few reasons to start. I will export this to my own journal too BigSis and thank you for loaning me the space and the spark to think this through.

xoxo
J.

Jackalope

08-26-2008, 07:22 AM

In answer to Annie Bodie's question about when did things start to seem better:

Annie, I think things really changed for me after reading Carr, and that was at about four months. Then at about six months it felt like I had stopped holding my breath all the time, and thinking about drinking or not drinking so much.
....

I too gained better memory and mental acuity when I quit and I think about three months was the turning point for that. When I was still drinking, I could feel my brain being damaged and I kept thinking: I hope that's temporary damage and not permanent damage. :eek:

It's a miracle that I stopped, really, given how poorly my brain functioned at that point. I remember driving around on Saturday mornings with my husband listening to quiz shows on the radio and not being able to think of the answers, not even to really be able to understand the questions fully. This would be after my regular Friday night bender, of course.

One of the things that got me to quit drinking (despair, shame, and guilt were just not enough :rolleyes:) was this article, "How We Get Addicted: The Science of Addiction" in Time magazine: http://www.time.com/time/magazine/ar...640436,00.html (http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1640436,00.html)

I found this magazine at the car wash one summer day; it had a cover of a highball glass of whiskey pinning a guy down, flat on his back. I started reading it while my car was getting washed and I confess: I stole that magzine. Took it home, read the whole article, and took comfort in the fact that I wasn't just a f*ck-up, I was "addicted." A nameable medical affliction was something I could deal with, especially if that affliction was not called alcoholic, a word a still dislike. That article really helped me to decide to take action.

But I'm rambling and the point is: this article also talks about brain changes being significant at about three months after a person quits drinking. I think that when life gets less dull depends almost entirely on one's outlook and circumstances. My sense of sparkle and promise tends to change along with my moods but this discussion has reminded me of when there was no sparkle at all. Waking up from a blackout and being in pain and despair tends to squash that flat as a bug.

xoxo
J.

jujubee

08-26-2008, 07:23 AM

I can't wait this whole board will be red soon!!! How cool is that!!When I came there were only a few reds here. What a nice message this sends to all the newbies:YOU CAN DO IT TOO!

I will not be red till November but my anniversary is the day after Lisa and Sis so that is why you probably thought of me. Molt and Holly are right near me too.

I will come back to offer my congrats on the big day:)

Maximus

08-27-2008, 11:42 AM

We now have two of these threads :)

This same thread is called "the one year speech thread"

bigsister987

09-07-2008, 02:30 AM