This is F**king hard

[frivolousz21]

so I messed up.

I drank Sat night, sunday night...and all day yesterday.

now I am back to sqaure one again.

right now...I must say the hardest part is handling the stress? or whatever shitty feeling I have after a day without alcohol.

I feel ok right now..but tomorrow, even after a good night sleep I will feel terrible...and then want to drink to make that go away.


I didn't drink for a week...and by Saturday....I felt that same ole well its been 5 days its ok..and just like that, bam....I want to drink and drink.


not get hammered...but drink enough to not be sober.


blah!

[herr]

Hey, it's a familiar theme around these parts!

Do you have a Journal Friv?

Just don't drink today!

[Marcus Gold]

Hey, I "quit" a lot of times, too. It helps to try to keep in mind why you're quitting. Maybe you should make a list here of the positive things quitting is going to bring into your life!

[Hilikus]

frivolousz21, no one said this was easy. We are all going through the same thing. My recommendation is keep yourself as busy as possible for the first couple weeks. I found I really craved a beer, when I was hungry, bored, or alone. So the best way to deal with that is catch up with some old friends over dinner or something. That way you will not be hungry, or alone, and you will be entertained. Kill 3 birds with 1 stone! :)

Just stay as busy as possible to avoid thinking about it and keep the AV at bay. Pick up some extra hours at work if you have to. Just don't drink and take it one day at a time.

[frivolousz21]

you may be right....

I probably will need to join a group around here to quit.

I am very emotionally involved in this.

I think one of the hardest things is the fear of thinking can I really do this?

Its hard to imagine I will go the rest of my life without alcohol, even though my brain is telling me its best for myself and all parties involved.

Its not fair to the people who love me and invest in me.

And its mostly not fair to my son....who I dont get to see much because alcohol has gotten me so broke I cannot afford to pay child support yet and go threw court.


I just got a 2nd job..I will make well over 30K a year right now and I may be getting a job in the union that will pay me much more.

even at 30K a year I could support myself and pay child support.

its very frustrating almost to the point of tears that I am failing right now....

I realize I am only human and I have an addiction that is paralyzing my future....

I will beat this.

[Marcus Gold]

Friv, you're all negative right now. I know you feel bad about falling off the wagon, but you've got to forget about that and think about what you can do to move forward with your life. You've got a son you want to support and be able to see again. What do you want more, the booze or the son? I take it it's the son. So that's it. While you're torturing yourself of the thought of a future without booze, you're somehow forgetting to torture yourself with the thought of a future with a son who doesn't have a father. Write that on the back of your hand if you have to; a future without booze might look bad from where you're sitting right now, but a future *with* what the sauce brings along with it is worse. Remember what comes with it. It's easy to think that somehow this time will be different, that this time you'll detach the drinks from their usual consequences. You've proved to yourself experimentally that that isn't the case. You can't use willpower to detach drinking from its usual consequences. You can use your brain to not drink so as to get things in life that you value more than drinking. ...As for the next few days, I'm an expert on drying out... #1 is eat well. Do not let yourself get hungry. Get fluids to flush your system. You'll have trouble sleeping, most likely, so expect that and be prepared for it.

[Hoots]

Don't drink today either :D

Keep strong!

Hoots

[indigoiis]

I think you are thinking about it too much.

I think you are OVERthinking this.

What's going to happen tomorrow? Ten years from now? You don't know. You could be hit by a bus. Stop conjecturing.

Stop thinking about forever.

Do what you can today. That is what you know.

www.rational.org

[Bridgit]

I agree with your thread title. It IS f#$#&ing hard.
But it's all more difficult if we are hung over or drunk regularly. I don't know about you but I let my bills slide, lose interest in the people and things that matter the most, and generally act like an ass.
You have to want it. Just don't drink, and like Indigoiis said, don't think so much. Eat. Drink good NA stuff. Try to relax and let go.
You can do this!

[frivolousz21]

I am now on my 3rd day of my quit.


the best news..I have a massive congestion in my throat..no drinking for me :)

[dreamer]

So glad to read you have gotten to day 3. Always focus on just not drinking today. Don't worry about tomorrow or the next. That will screw a person up. The key is this moment. Now. Just don't drink.

Congratulations on day 3!

[Trubble]

Congrats on day three!

[greengirl32]

Everybody falls down a hundred times before they quit. That can be quite a downer. It teaches us to be positive and to persevere and to not be led by emotions. Here, you will find the support we all need to keep trying. It definitely requires a perspective change. Try the Allan Carr book and just keep reading around here. Spend time in reflection about what alcohal has done for you and what you can do to overcome. Not in shame, but in a logical fashion. It is very hard to develop some self control and new habits, but you can do it. Think of how inspiring you will be to your son when he's older and you were the dad you wanted to be.