Social drinking

[nudedude]

Does anyone know of anyone who has ever had much sucess in introducing drinking again into there life. Like being able to just drink occasionally?

Not that am too bothered at the moment, but someone asked me the other day if am going to drink again and I didnt know lol

[TwinCity]

Some people have a hard time committing to a lifetime of sobriety.. that's why some people like the "one day at a time" method. I started out one day at a time, but eventually was able to make that mental commitment and start telling people, I will never drink again. I think it's healthy to shoot for that goal... leaving the option of drinking open can really mess with your mind, and in most cases will lead to a slip, or at least anguish.

Sure.. of course there are people that have tried to moderate again, it happens all the time. I have never known someone that personally had success in that method, and even if they say they do have success, I would be reluctant to believe them. I believe that if I chose to do so, I could force myself to have one beer everyday, or whatever you want to call moderation, but I would be unhappy in doing so, because when I drank, I drank to get drunk, or buzzed, or to sleep, etc...

That is why I choose to abstain from drinking all together.. because it's an all or nothing situation for me. And I believe it's that way for all problem drinkers, most are just too stubborn to admit it.

I would strongly urge you to make the commitment of a lifetime of sobriety, or at least make a goal to work up to that. It should happen automatically when you see how much your life improves after being sober for a short while.

I had many friends at the beginning asking me this question, and sometimes I would say I dunno (maybe at first because I wasn't confident) but soon after I was able to smile and say NEVER AGAIN. Lots of people didn't believe me, or said I would "be back" but it's been almost 2 years now, and I WILL NEVER DRINK AGAIN =)

[Bridgit]

Hi nudedude,

For me, I'm an alcoholic and if I drink socially I will end up drunk. I
have experimented with it and the end result has been the same each time.
I'm the kind of drinker that will have 2 drinks at a function to 'look good 'then
pick up a case of beer on the way home, or a bottle of something, usually beer though because at least drinking beer I would not have any black out
episodes as I could with liquor, although the hangovers were horrible either way. Plus the beer is easier to get at night in my state.
I have to take it a day at a time, and not think about the future and drinking or I will be planning my next drunk. If I just don't drink today I can handle it.

Hang in there nudedude!

[Hoots]

Well, I tried that and found that I really like to socialize a lot :D. I found that I don't like to moderate either but not to say that others in this World cannot.

Hoots

[dietcokeandcoffee]

Hmm, I tried it, and after a few valiant attempts I was a complete failure at 'social drinking'. At least in the way that it's supposed to mean - i was very social, but also eventually extremely drunk.

My GF will be going to a lot of events with some of the people i was drinking with, but I'm confident that I will be even more social - and certainly more fun - on a steady stream of diet cokes. I've already done that, and it works for me - the sober approach i mean. And I'm thankful for the year-and-a-half I had before my recent slip to confirm that.

So if you're considering it (social drinking), keep that in mind - it usally does NOT work.

[nudedude]

To be honest I havent considered it yet, just seems weird that I might not ever drink again, and when people ask me I genuinely dont know.

I didnt do this quit to prove I wasnt an alcoholic, althought I have done it with out much effort I do still believe I am an alcoholic.

If I went out on a night out and drank, I am sure I would end up getting smashed and have a complete black out and get withdrawal the next day. But if I just went the pub I could probably limit my drinking and not bother drinking when I got home, although I would probably get the urge to.

Was just wondering if absence from alcohol for a long period of time, would change you and would revert you back to before you took your first drink.

Like if I dont drink for a year, and then go and get really drunk, am I likely to get withdrawal symptoms again straight away?

[Charlie]

I'd say just concentrate on today. If one gets too wrapped up in the future it becomes overwhelming. You're young, and you have a long life ahead of you. I'm sure after some time we'll come to consider that drinking is just not something we do. I don't drink for the same reasons I don't use drugs, smoke, or eat raw onions. I just don't like any of those things, none of them appeal to me. There is no agonizing over my decision not to smoke, use drugs, or eat raw onions. If other people do it, so be it. I don't have to partake in the festivities at a raw onion tasting party.

[Sam]

I can't honestly say "forever" either. Yet, it has been over a year for me and considering how much better my life is now, I can't imagine being stupid-stupid again.

I tried to moderate many times and it never worked. Sooner or later I was back to my overdrinking habits. I haven't met anyone who has been able to do it either.

[Fancy]

Hi nudedude,

I haven't been sober very long, but I think if I was ever able to really moderate and stay with moderation, I would not have had a problem in the first place. I always started out to have just one or two glasses of wine, and it always turned into one or two bottles. Just focus on abstaining for now, and see how you are feeling when you get some time sober.

The more time I get, the more I am glad I am not drinking wine anymore.

[dietcokeandcoffee]

[QUOTE=
Was just wondering if absence from alcohol for a long period of time, would change you and would revert you back to before you took your first drink.

Like if I dont drink for a year, and then go and get really drunk, am I likely to get withdrawal symptoms again straight away?[/QUOTE]

I gotcha - and let me gently repeat my earlier sentiment. It won't work. At least, it didn;t for me, and I can't think it woulld for anyone else here.

I did the long stretch of sober life, then did the one big drunk night...and had a big hangover the next day that I had to pretend I wasn't hungover during. And then was back to thinking about when I could drink next.

It's too dangerous.

[healthyfuture]

I mean, who wants to drink moderately? Most of us drank to get drunk. What that became untenable, I had to quit entirely.

[jm8]

if you are here, you probably have a problem w/ alcohol and probably cannot moderate your drinking, but you may have to find that out the hard way. and by that I don't mean anything catastrophic necessarily, just too many repeated trials w/ "moderate" or "social" drinking.

one quote i heard or saw one time that I think is very true goes something like this:

"people who can moderate their drinking just do it, they don't have to think about it. "

in other words. if you have to "try" to moderate your drinking, that would be suggestive of a problem in the first place.

like most others on here i'm sure...as far as moderate or social drinking goes, i've been there and done that over and over again and every time it eventually led to excess at some point, even if it takes awhile.

i think for alot of people, a few days or weeks or whatever of moderate drinking is just a sly ruse on the part of the AV, "showing" you that you can drink "normally." just to get its fix. and then it pushes you into more and more.

until you get fed up enough with the whole cycle to make up your mind finally and permanently that you are done.

the AV is sly about it too. at least for me it was. a few beers or wines now and again would slowly become daily, then i would allow an equivalent amount of shots and mixed drinks (the latter always being my greatest weakness,) then those 2-3 shots or mixed drinks would become 5, then 10, then a few times a week would become daily....you get my drift.

[polo]

Howdy,

Over the past 10 years, I've quit a number of times. Every time I started back up (for the most part), I thought "I can handle this, just a few drinks." I'd even make up stupid rules that worked at first, but soon failed (3 drinks max per day, no drinking on work nights, no drinking 2 days in a row).

Personally, I don't think starting up works again. You've struggled to get your body to lose it's dependency on alcohol. Unfortunately, it's like riding a bike. If you start back up, you'll be right back where you started in a matter of days.

my 2 cents.

polo

[indigoiis]

After four years (September) booze free, I can't even imagine drinking again. Life is so much better without it. I'm glad I gave it a "never again" attitude from the get-go - I think it helped me develop a life without booze.

Nice to not have to worry about whether I will or won't.

[Steve]

One day at a time for as long as it takes. I know all about trying again. It does not work. Each time I tried, the bender was longer. The alcohol amounts staggering, and the withdrawl harder. My relapses were every thirty to forty days for the first few months. It was between sites. I got here and stayed sober for a while. Six month mark was a fun one. About a week to two weeks drunk off my butt. It does not work with me. I had to find out the hard way. Going through withdrawl four or so times was not necessary if I only would of listened to these fine people here. My wife asked me the same question a couple weeks ago. A little part of her wanted me to drink, to cut loose, and not care for the night. I told her no, I can not drink ever again. I asked her if she was there each time I tried to drink? She told me that she did not want me to drink anymore. Things are hard. Not drinking is tuff at first. It takes time to heal, to learn, and to blend back in. I am so much happier than I was a couple years ago. Each day gets better and I get stronger.

Peacewalker

[hemingway]

I'm fantastic at moderating in social situations.

The problem starts on the way home when I pick up something to "finish off the night".

The hangover the next day encourages me to buy something that evening to help with sleep. Doesn't take long for me to avoid social functions again so I can just stay home and drink alone.

Before I know it, I'm drinking every night again.

I'm a very common example of those people that can hold it together for short periods : most don't just go bananas at one sip of alcohol, but it creeps back on me very quickly. And if recent slips of mine are anything to go by, that creeping back on me gets quicker and quicker.

I find it much less complicated if I simply don't drink at all.

That way I don't have to worry about whether i can moderate or not.

[dreamer]

I tried it. It didn't work. And it took months to get back on track and really, really give not drinking a "go" again. I don't recommend it. Not at all.

Moderation will take a lot of effort on your part, if you are able to do it. I mean, a lot. Just not drinking is way easier. Also, I think what makes moderation the hardest is that alcohol is a drug so as soon as you have the first glass, your mind is already being influenced by a chemical. How can you really make sound decisions once the drinking begins. It takes a lot of willpower. I am totally compulsive so as soon as I had one, that was it. Sure, there were occasions where I only had one or two glasses. Then there were the many other occasions.

I found out for myself that moderation doesn't work. Any alcohol at all does not work for me. You might have to find out for yourself. I am not advocating slipping but for me, I was always on the fence during the first quit. I wasn't quite sure that I was an alcoholic. Maybe I was just a problem drinker. I am sure now.

Also, like Hoots said, she found out she was a very social person. I have been to two separate events today where I was offered alcohol. Basically every event I go to, alcohol is there. So there is always a social event to drink and it can get totally out of hand. Eventually, I was getting drunk at home again and making stupid choices.

[Hilikus]

I tried that route before and from experience I can say it doesn't work. I had quite for about 4 1/2 months and thought I could just drink in social settings. The problem was I would increase my social settings in order to drink more. Over time I just drank more and more until I was right back where I had been when I originally quit.

This time I plan on staying away, no exceptions. I don't want to say I will never drink again, cause I can't promise myself that. I just go one day at a time like others have mentioned. Plus I use my quit as motivation not to drink... I have gone 75 days, why go back to day one now? 76 days sounds a lot better than 1 day without beer I think. :)

[chowder]

I think it helps to ask yourself why you think it would be desirable in any way to be able to drink "socially". Imagine yourself at a social event, on a split screen. In one picture, you are standing around socializing, apple seltzer in hand; in the other picture, you are standing around socializing, alcoholic drink in hand. What's the difference?

For example, maybe you think that in the alcohol-in-hand situation, a slight buzz will make you feel more talkative. Then consider, 1) where does "slight" end?
2) how sociable will you be if you're having an inner dialogue with your AV about how many drinks you're allowed to have? 3) being relaxed and talkative in social settings without alcohol is actually something you can learn to do, but if you're like me, you probably just haven't had much practice yet; 4) picture all the times you've slurred your words, or not remembered a conversation you've had 5) next time you're at an event with alcohol, listen to how the quality of conversation drops as the amount of drinking increases.

Anyway, you'll have your own reasons for thinking that drinking socially is desirable, plus the advertising industry will continually try to remind you how glamorous, hip, normal, and fun it is, and alcohol will always be around. But getting over the illusion that social drinking is desirable will strengthen your quit.

[Zsa Zsa]

I think the lure of moderating is a tricky thing. Once you're able to go over the heathy amount of alcohol a day and you've done that more than once you are treading dangerous ground when you moderate. I think there are a lot of people with a history of problem drinking that can go to moderating but for me that history repeats itself if I let it. I've finally decided to just say yes to not drinking and move on. Beverages really shouldn't be that important in life.

[Rich]

Does anyone know of anyone who has ever had much sucess in introducing drinking again into there life. Like being able to just drink occasionally?

Not that am too bothered at the moment, but someone asked me the other day if am going to drink again and I didnt know lol Nope. Drinking really is not that fun anways. I think it is for woosies

[cejay]

Despite reading part of this thread I decided to test the waters this weekend. We spent a long weekend camping with friends, and I brought a case of beer with me. I drank for the weekend, had 3 months sober under my belt.
This weekend was not a defeat or a moment of weakness. I consciously decided to test the waters, for one weekend only and I have to say, I didn't really enjoy it much and I don't plan to go back to drinking.
I didn't have a bad experience, no blackouts, hangovers or embarrassing public fights but some of the old feelings did come back. I noticed I drank more than everybody.
The experience reaffirmed for me that I have more fun socializing sober. People like me more and I just prefer it now that I've put in some solid time in that state.

CJ.