It's actually very hard to write a first post

[quino_fan]

Okay, so writing my first post, even though it's totally anonymous here, is incredibly difficult. There is the wierd shame in actually admitting to yourself (as nobody you know knows you're posting here) that you have a problem with the booze.

So here goes: I'm a late 30's English teacher in a Mediterranean country (TEFL teaching is a pretty decent cover for a problem drinker: everyone on a sort of permanent vacation happily basing their social lives around expat pubs and bars), and I can't seem to give up.

Moderation just doesn't work, and being an expat Brit, especially in a Mediterranean country with a very strong drinking culture, there are just too many excuses out there.

I used to think of myself as a functioning alcoholic, but now realise there is no such thing. I'm an addict, and boozing is destoying my life slowly but surely.

I've been lurking around this forum for a couple of months now, learning a vocabulary to describe my problem and having the deeply reassuring revelation that there are loads of young intelligent people out there with the same issues going on.

Just wanted to show my face really, and thank all of you for your frankness. This site has already been a massive help to me.

[AnnieBodie]

Hi Quinofan, welcome and congrats on plucking up the courage to write your 1st post. Well done!

Whether we come from a drinking culture (as I do too) or not, the truth is that we'll always find an excuse to drink and over drink. Admitting to yourself and now to others (here at WQD) is the 1st essential steep to a happier, healthier, sober life.

Why don't you start a diary and tell us a bit more about yourself and your drinking habits. You'll find lots of good company here, from all walks of life, including thirtysomething Brit males...

Hang in there, it's really not so bad once you get started!

Annie - who took the girl out of the drinking culture but couldn't take the drinking culture out of the girl... until WQD. :)

[Lia~~]

Hi Quino

So glad you de-lurked. I agree with Annie-- start a diary and let us get to know you better.

We have quitters from all over-- Japan (I can't imagine a harder drinking culture), Thailand-- and of course, US where every other commercial seems to be for alcohol.

It is great your are reclaiming your life-- I agree-- there is no such thing as a functional alcoholic-- just some alcoholics can "fake it" better than others. Not a skill to be proud of because it makes it harder for us to decide "NO MORE".

Welcome! :)

[Reed]

Hi Quino Fan -
Congratulations on your decision to quit.
You will find a lot of information and support here.

[mnstar]

Hang in there Quino. You'll get lots of support here.

[AJ]

Hi Quino and welcome! :)

Great job on your first post, I remember mine too, and it was quite difficult.

I agree- you should start a diary and tell us more about you.

Looking forward to getting to know you more.

[dreamer]

Welcome Q! I am really glad that you found this site and made your first post. I too recommend starting a diary. This is a great way for us to get to know you and support you. I also find it helpful to connect with others here that were starting their quits around the same time that I did as well as drawing support from some of the veteran quitters. There are so many wonderful people here and they all share the same problem.

One thing to keep in mind is to not think in terms of "forever." That can be very overwhelming. It really is just one day at a time.

Best of luck to you and keep posting through your process.

[roxygrl]

I personally promise you if you quit for 2 weeks, your life will be better, you will feel control coming back, and learn to enjoy life authentically, not influenced by a substance. Good luck, Roxygrl

[Pete1]

It is great your are reclaiming your life-- I agree-- there is no such thing as a functional alcoholic-- just some alcoholics can "fake it" better than others. Not a skill to be proud of because it makes it harder for us to decide "NO MORE".


Man, I thought I was doing a good job of "faking it". Yesterday my friends called my wife to say they were worried about me. They had been worried for years, but finally decided they better do something about it. I'm so embarrassed. They have been talking about this for YEARS? Today is day one (again) but knowing that everyone knows is some inspiration. You might be suprised too.

[Jackalope]

It IS hard to write a first post, I agree. But you know what, nothing really is harder than that first step, in my opinion. Getting to Day One, getting to that first post or first AA meeting or first whatever it is, that's the hard part. The rest gets easier and easier and eventually it gets fun. So hang in there. xoxo J.

[Carousel]

How about a second post? Is that a little easier? :)

I still remember how terrified I was to put my first post in this forum. And how touched to my soul I felt by the responses. You are among friends here. I hope you do write that second post.

Welcome.

[quino_fan]

Yup, definititely a bit easier to write a second post after all your kind messages of support.

Announced to my best mate last night that I was deeply worried about my boozing and that it had been turning into a problem and his reply was a very politely worded version of "Well, duh!", so yes, definitely not that functional an alcoholic!

It certainly feels odd, when you have finally admitted "publicly" that you have an addiction: like getting a massive weight of your mind and then you can start to look back at the years of boozing and start realising how profound an influence it had on your life: that is quite terrifying - the idea that you have basically wobbled through a fuzzy-edged world more than half of your life.

Anyway, thank you all for your warm welcome: in many ways a booze problem is a very private thing (ironic as it's a very openly social drug), so it feels so much better to have a place to go to and talk it out.

[artiste]

hey Q, from one junior to another, welcome.
this place is a treasure trove of support and wisdom. good one making that second post, great one making that first step!
stick around, read some journals, you will find you are not alone.
one day at a time.
a.

[Lil]

Quino fan,

I have been sober 9 weeks and I felt the same way you did. I was so shameful of telling people I think I "may" have a problem with alcohol abuse. I still carry that inside. Not so much that I admit I have a problem but now it is looking back at how long it took me to realize it! You have taken a HUGE step here and I am so happy for you. Please keep coming here under any circumstance you are in. Being here has made this journey a lot easier! Amazing people here that are in or have been in your shoes! We
"get it"! Take care!

[Hoots]

Checking in to see how you doing...

Stay strong,
Hoots

[quino_fan]

Thanks for all your encouragement everyone, and thank you for remembering me Hoots.

It's going pretty well, I drop by here every day and go through a bit more of the tons of material and advice people have posted, noting down all the stuff that appeals to my mentality: it's amazing the archive of information that's on here.

So I'm on day 9 today, though I reckon you can't count a day until you've actually got past the evening part, especially tricky today on a Friday when everyone finishes early and heads off to the outdoor terraces for a beer or 5.

What I'm most happy about is the lack of depression and guilt the next day and my ability to get stuff done much more quickly.

It's also amazing how a perma-hangover becomes such a part of your life it's normal, like a smoker gets used to a smokers cough. Hangovers are horrible, really, awful things. I can't believe I got used to that: there are few worse things than sitting in some fluorescent-lit office giving classes to a bunch of students all staring at you when you feel like death warmed up: there is no option of going off for a coffee or hiding behind a computer screen!

I basically feel a whole lot more in control of my life, especially important right now as I have a whole bunch of work/home/girlfriend issue going on right now (coincidentally, not as an effect of).

Also, funnily enough, it's a real pleasure going to bed straight: you get into bed and really enjoy it rather than flop down and pass out and wake up fully clothed on top of your bedclothes.

Anyway, early days yet, but it's really quite impressive how big an effect just a few days off the booze has.

[Jackalope]

Yay, Quino! Glad you're hanging in there. Nine days is excellent and it just keeps getting better and better.

What are your plans for the weekend?

xoxo
J.

[quino_fan]

My weekend plan consists of arriving as late as possible to wherever my mates are when they're all already getting hammered and already having a soft drink open in my hand (two excellent tips I got off this site). The hot weather we have here at this time of year (35 degrees is pretty normal) means I have to arrive later when it cools off and so avoid the temptation to have a cold beer/spirit.

Did run into one slight problem though: am now exploring the wierd and alien world of soft-drinks in bars and I do often end up totally wired on sugar and unexpected caffeine content so tend to go home and watch videos into the small hours, but still that's a very slight problem compared to wobbling off home at silly o'clock in the morning looking blurrily for an expensive taxi home.

[Roberta]

Quote: the idea that you have basically wobbled through a fuzzy-edged world more than half of your life.

I really like that quote of yours Q. Maybe I will steal it and use it as my own.;)

As you say, this site is great. Along with 2 other things - a book I read called 'Sober and Staying That Way' and many of the ideas of Rational Recovery (especially the idea of Addictive Voice), the jigsaw came together. Timing is everything sometimes. And, of course, we have a hand in it.

I lived and taught English in Vietnam for 2 and a half years so I am familiar with the drinking culture of ex-pats plus the availability of cheap booze.

Anyway, you're doing great. This site is THE BEST! I stumbled (not literally) on it by accident and every day I thank my lucky stars that I did.

Cheers!
Roberta